Merry Christmas Ya'll

So Christmas is over and I am finally at home and relaxing after some stressful weeks. My hair is growing to a nice length at the moment and I am pretty pleased with the outcome so far. I just want to make my hair big and have it stay big. Maybe this is something I can try for New Year's. I want volume to the maximum.

Anyway, I came home and Good Hair was on tv. If you haven't seen it, it is pretty interesting to watch. The amount of chemicals they use in their hair is very toxic. Now, as a child I did get perms and thought nothing of the chemical process involved as why would I as a child; all I knew was I just wanted curly hair.

The crazy part is, they have 3 year olds putting a relaxer in their hair, which I personally think is really young. As a big fan of afros, I would never probably do that to my child, but who knows. Maybe it is really difficult to maintain and having really fine thin hair, I will never fully understand the challenges.

Seeing how much work these women put into their hair is making me feel really lazy about my style. I never put my hair up or do anything really exciting to it. And since I spend half my time thinking about hair, you think I would.

This one woman flew from Colorado to NYC to get her hair done. Wow, this movie is totally fascinating. I remember wanting to see it when it first came out, but at least I am now.

We need more movies about hair. That is my final statement.

Give me strength

I have a haircut appointment tomorrow after a few months of not cutting it. A part of me wants to chop this crap right off, and the other part of me is willing to go the long run and grow this mother f'er out.

I think I will feel better about this growing out process once I get a decent haircut.

So while I am looking up haircuts, I have to mention Miss Michelle Williams. Now I am the first to admit that when Michelle first entered my world on Dawson's Creek, I was so not into her. I didn't understand the appeal, and frankly I was like ew. Granted, I was young and foolish and generic Joey Potter seemed way cuter to me during that time.

Years later I realize how wrong I was. First things first, Let's do a Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes comparison in dos. Both had long, both chopped it off, but who did it better? Who has better style and better taste in men? I think we all know the answer. Miss Williams.

Besides anyone else seen this poster for the upcoming movie Blue Valentine with my fave male celeb Ryan Gosling?



Yea I am jealous of this girl to the max (minus the whole Heath Ledger thing).

Sleepless evenings

There is nothing worse than not being able to sleep. So in order to correct this, I just downed the rest of the 2001 wine my landlord gave me for the washing machine which ruined my clothing. In addition, my weirdo downstair neighbors keep smoking outside in the backyard and the smoke gets into my bedroom. And let me tell you its f'n awesome to smell smoke while I am trying to get my slumber. And they cackle like hyenas. And they are seriously howling at another dog. Fucking nerds.

In other news, I have no money. But I spend like I have tons. So what has been lacking in my attempt to look decent, is that I have been cutting my own bangs for the past few months.

I actually think I have perfected the at home bang trim as I have been doing it for years, however, it can only get so good, before I cut too much and look stupid. Step one is to actually get normal hair cutting scissors. Do not use the scissors you would use to cut up some construction paper. It doesn't work. Also make sure your hair is dry when doing this as if you do it while it is wet, you will cut it too short. I basically just try to follow the line in which my hair dresser cut last.

I didn't want to spend 15 dollars to get a bang trim. I mean that's just ridiculous. My hair is getting long, and my social experiment isn't really going according to plan. Definitely don't cut your hair while drinking 2001 wine. Shit will f up your hair royally.

The girl downstairs also never changes out of her pajamas and her hair is in a pony tail all day everyday. Is this what happens when you live with your boyfriend? Just look like insane everyday with your weird pajama pants? If being single means I won't be leaving the house in monkey head pajama pants, then its sounding better to me everyday.

For my ladies out there, here is one head of hair I'd like to take home. Well really just the body attached. and the face.


I am moving to France. Someone please teach me French. Thanks.

V to the M to the As

Somehow I always start watching the VMAs but then get bored and stop watching. Probably the same thing will happen tonight.

In anycase, I figured I would do a quick update and I never really comment as something is currently happening.

Anyway I watched a couple of episodes of Jersey Shore today, because I do find it fairly entertaining.

Snooki is probably my favorite character, because I think she's pretty funny.

She got a new do for the VMAs - cut some bangs and flattened out her hair.



The hair looks good, but I can't get past the ridiculously nude lips. Put a color on there or something. It is really all I can focus on. Because when you have a bang, it frames your face, and all I can look at is her face now and specifically her lips.

However, its her style, and big hair or flat hair, she's entertaining.

Also, I can't find a picture yet, but will be posting as soon as I do of Jared Leto's hairdo. Look Jared, you are and always will be attractive so why do you insist of doing everything in your power to make you unattractive. Yes your bleached blonde rat tail do is not attractive to anyone. That being said, I'd probably still shit myself if I was alone with you in a room, mostly because of my Jordan Catalano fantasy from 15 years ago.

Also, totally weird, is the guy in his band Tino? From My-So Called Life?? Because it sure as hell looked like him just now, and I really never looked at anyone else in the band...mostly because they suck.

Sidenote, my favorite side swoop prince Justin Bieber can play the drums. Who the hell knew? I guess I wouldn't really know that.

Lastly, I wanted to comment on Kesha's weird Rapunzel do, but I am not going to waste my time, unless I find a good photo of it.

The In Between

So I am growing my hair out. I haven't done it since about 3 years ago, I kept cutting shorter and shorter in different ways. And frankly, I just really like short hair on me, however, growing my hair out is more of a social experiment than me really wanting to. What do I mean? Well I am doing the opposite of a Felicity. Will I be reviewed better with longer hair? Seems like the last time I had long hair, things were going fairly well for me.

Plus I just saw a picture of me with shorter hair on someone's facebook, and I looked like I played for the same team if you know what I mean. And I don't.

So by doing this, I am hoping for better photos, better social life, better everything. I am counting alot on this hairdo to change my life, however, I am fairly realistic and know it probably won't. But if it does, I think I might have a goldmine here with this blog.

So now I am in the in between stage. It's at my shoulders. I am really wanting to chop it off, and go back to what I like, but no I am in it to win it? or something. Lastly, if anyone wants to contribute funds to this site so I can afford to get my hair color done to achieve my goals, it would be greatly appreciated.

I get so Felicity-y-y-y-yyyy

So Vavoom and I were discussing that tv show Felicity because of the part, where she's like fuck you Ben I am so over you, I am going to chop all of my hair because it's a new me and I am in college, and that's how I prove my independence.

I loved Felicity, the show, the drama, the everything. I was sad when it was gone. And even though she chopped off all her hair, I still watched it, however many of you didn't. Why? Was she not pretty anymore because of her short hair? Well the do was bad, but her face was still pretty. No?

See what I mean about how hair can transform people? The story behind the do chop (why I know this I am not sure, I guess my obsession started way before I thought), was Felicity came to the studio that day to film and she had a wig on as a joke, and one of the producers was like no, we should totally write this into the script. So yea, she cut off all her hair for tv and the ratings dropped apparently right after. Coincidental or do do's control ratings? I guess no one can know for sure. Eventually her hair grew back out, badly, but once it was long again, it was not as curly and frizz like in the beginning. Check it out:

Original do:



Short do:



After math:



Lastly, I miss this show. Here's to you Felicity:

Wish I Hadda Flowbee

Its spring, and my do is unruly. I'm broke and need a haircut because I'm starting a new job, but im lazy and don't have money to blow on a nice do. My initial impulse is to say FUNK IT, and just shave it all off with a buzzer. Too bad when I shave it I look like i was just released from a psych ward. My head shape is funky so I need a little length... longer than what the buzzer can do.

It's times like these when i say: WISHIHADDAFLOWBEE



If I had a flow bee I could just put that shiz on 2 inches, suck-cut all around evenly and call it a day. Even if the do came out horrible I could still have 2 inches of hair for the stylist to work with in an emergency situation.

For more information on this fine and forgotten product visit WWW.FLOWBEE.COM

Sweet Justin

Yes I am talking about Justin Bieber. Every teen girl's fantasy apparently. I have no idea what this kid sings. I am sure he is just wonderful.

Anyways, his do is enough to make me cringe. Sure he's a cute little thing, but the greatest thing about a boy with a moppy do, is that its usually messy, not perfectly cut, nor styled. When I see this perfectly cut haircut, I just want to get my scissor out and start chopping it up, and put some product in it or something.



I am going to hell probably for making fun of a youngsters hair, and clearly this kid will and always be way more famous and rich than I will ever be. So please pre-teens forgive me, and don't send me any hate mail for this.

Sunset Daze

Finally someone in this world has done something right. Ok fine there are plenty of things great about this world, but this person is beyond genius. Whoever created Sunset Daze on WE is amazing. Basically it is a Golden Girls reality show. I've only seen one episode but I am already hooked. Mostly for one specific lady named Gail "The Actress". Gail insists on having her hair styled in a flip and not only is it styled in a flip, it is bright red. She still directs some plays and used to perform in her youth. This sassy lady is 70 and I hope when I am 70, I am just as wacky as this woman.

Check the video below:

Spring is in the air

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It is always really nice when people who read this blog give submissions and ask you to post more. Now if I could get paid for this thing, I might be even more ecstatic. Anyhow, this next submission comes from Despina. She has asked me to comment on Anne Burrell. I had to google her name as I have to say was not familiar with the name or the face. Now that I have some background information, let me begin.

This first photo is actually pretty awesome for the site. We get this image from foodnetworkhumor.com:




I like how even they are making fun of her hair. I actually probably do not need any other photos other than this one, because it really says it all. Now, what do would be better on Anne Burrell? This is a toughy. She basically seems like shes the fun spunky type of chef, so she feels she needs that wild do. Plus she's fairly famous and wants to be recognizable, kind of like Susan Powder. Well she's done the job. I guess I don't understand all over spike dos. What's the appeal?

Vavoom and I were also discussing Ryan Cabrera today and his do. It's like the same shit except on a man. I mean for one how much time does it take you to do this? I assume both of these people have stylists sigh. Fire them.

However for one thing I have to say about Anne is that I always kind of like bleached blonde hair, but the spikes gotta go. And frankly, it doesn't seem to go that well with her skin tone. She could look a whole lot better with another shade.

Now the only spikes I like are those on Spike from Degrassi. She rocked that so mother f'n hard.

Anyway, I leave you with Ryan Cabrera looking sassy as ever.



I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Hair As Performance Art

Some entries need no words. This being one of them.

Thank you Preston for submitting this. Enjoy:

Hey hey Paula, I wanna marry you

So for my 30th birthday, Vavoom secretly started sending me Paula Young's catalog. I figured it was probably him because who else gets me like Vavoom. No one.

When I first looked at Paula Young's catalog, I was like if I had to wear a wig, because I lost my hair or maybe just for fun, these have to be some of the worst looks I have ever seen. I think its like a southern wig company or something.
I think my favorite are the curly wig section because it is just more unrealistic than most of the other options.

First up is the Sweet Nothing Wig:



Seriously? What man or woman is going to be whispering sweet nothing's in your ear for this do. It is a white woman jheri curl.

Now there are several wigs that look like this do, for example:



This is basically a grey version of the sweet nothing do. I could go on forever, but you get the idea.

It took me a while to post about Paula Young, because I started feeling bad about people that have to wear wigs. But I am drinking wine, so I don't really care at the mo.

The world makes fun of each other, and thats how it goes round. Love ya'll!

Curl Confidence Like Woah

So it's been about 2 weeks since I have been to the gym, because I was moving, and cleaning, and busy with babies and weddings and stuff. In anycase, today I went to the gym this morning, which was clearly meant to be because the infomercial for Curl Confidence was on the entire time I was working out.

Here is a youtube on women who spend money getting their hair dried straight when they have naturally curly hair.

Here is a youtube on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpeoylPCgSo Unfortunately it doesn't give me an option to embed.

The premise of this video is that they shock their friends who had no idea they had curly hair. I don't know how shocked I would be this day and age, that someone was blow drying their hair straight. These women are like "Oh my god Cathy I can't believe you got this curly hair". Mind you, its not like their hair is luxurious, it looks like they just rolled out of bed and did a wet crinkle curl (one of my most hated looks), and stepped out of the house. I wouldn't be so in love with their crinkle cut hairdos.

Here is an example of a before and after:



Now I don't know, I kind of like fro-ish hair - I hate wet curls. I feel like its effortless, like you throw some product in your hair and let it air dry. I just don't like any hair that looks like it's crunchy.

Now, if someone can show me a product, that will make my straight hair curl, that is something I would be interested in.

Suck My Kiss

I don't care that you've had sex with over 1400 women. I don't care that Kiss is a huge success. Because here's a little secret: Kiss sucks, always has, always will. Maybe they put a great concert on? Guess who doesn't care? Me. Why? Because your music still sucks. What also sucks, is your disgusting Do. It's a weird butt part and it needs to go. Fact is, someone who boasts about how many women they've slept with is insecure. So is a man who can't accept that he's been balding since 1980.

Crinkle Cut French Fry Hair

Little Dick, Big Problem.

So... The other night I had a bout of insomnia. Instead of reloading twitter five thousand times for nonexistent updates, or pretending to look for a job, I decided to watch TV.

It's rare that I watch tv these days, but lately when I do it seems as though television is stuck in a high school time warp. I guess it's by chance that every time I turn dish network on the only choices are Roseanne, Family Matters, Saved By The Bell, and maybe a rehab show.

So basically last night, I was stuck flipping between Three's Company and Family Matters. Pretty bad no? Well for whatever reason I decided to flip between both until I was reminded of this character:



That's right, Little Richie.

This show is so bad, but that's stating the obvious. What's worse than this show, and what I'm really trying to get at, is this kid's Do.

Here's what raises some eyebrows:

A. This haircut was not popular on any man or child in the mid-90s.

B. It's a jheri curl.

c. It's about 6 years after AC Slater had this Do, and by this point I'm assuming he was smart enough to get rid of it.

D. Who would do this to their child?





Not only is this haircut unacceptable by mid-90s standards for any child of any race or sex, you decided to burn this image into television history by choosing this Do as your chyldes style while on the show.

Good job. My guess is the parent was a huge fan of Little Richard, requested that his son's character be named Little Richie with a Do to match. Really? That's like giving your 7 year old a pompadour because you love Elvis, only worse.

Mousse Quickie

Hey I like mousse!

I've talked about it before, but I always keep trying new mousse products in hopes of finding the one. It is kind of like searching for a man, keep trying shit out till one takes.

Anyway, that's what my product search for the perfect mousse has been like. I bought Big Sexy Hair Mousse as seen here:



It isn't bad. It definitely gives my hair volume but makes it feel like straw. But it keeps it in place. So I don't hate this, but it does get hard to dry with my brush because of it making my hair harder than necessary.

Then we have Organix Coconut Milk Mousse.



This mousse is kind of weird. It says its weightless mousse but when I put it in my hair it feels like I am putting soap suds in my hair. It is very strange, but doesn't make my hair stiff or anything. I am completely unsure if this mousse is actually doing anything for my hair at all. It feels like my hair almost looks better without anything in it than having this stuff in it. So I guess thats all I need to know.

So the search for the one is still on. Recommend me some mousse! or something. Set me up with a fellow do lover while you are at it too. TTYL! KIT!

Oh Orrojo and Cojo

Well first thing's first. We had a comment from someone we don't know! How exciting. At least we think we do not know.

Anyway, the topic was 80s/90s do's so thats why the comments were about that. Anyway, we didn't really totally understand your comment. But no one is hating on Stacey Q, just her do. I loved two of hearts!

My hair was much worse during that time. One day I'll post photos.

But yea we are going to continue to write with our hater pens? Or something.

Anywayyyyy, ohhhh Nick Orrojo. Sometimes I don't understand what you were doing on What not to Wear and sometimes it came out good. But there was this one time (and I cannot find a picture anywhere for this!) but there was this punk rock type looking girl who had not that bad of a do - she was 24, had black hair and it was just razor cut. And you cut it into a bowl cut, shaved one side and dyed the shaved part blue. Why Nick Orrojo why? It was so bad, I felt bad for this girl after the fact.

And why did your hair look like this?



I don't think this look looks good on any man, it didnt look good on Heath Ledger (RIP, too soon?), it didn't look good on Orlando Bloom, it just doesn't look good. Maybe there are some women that get aroused by long curly tendrils on a man, but I sure do not know any.

Second up on the list, is Cojo. I actually feel bad about this one because I know he has something wrong with him that made his face blow up like that. So I am feeling kind of guilty, but this isn't about his illnesses, its purely do related so forgive me.



Sigh, of all the things about do's that I don't like, flat ironing a man's hair when its all razor cut, makes me cringe like no other. I just don't understand it. I don't see how they leave the house like that. It is like Pete Wentz's hair. Ugh. Enough to de-arouse anyone.

On a final note, I am watching Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker and I can't stop loving her non bang do.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

80s / Early 90s Wylde Do Talk

Hello again. After reading Queen Do's last posts, I realized its been a while since I've blogged, so lets just get to the point:

This post is about a funky little thing that I've been wanting to talk about called Wylde Do's. Wylde Do's can be any funky do and are up for interpretation. They might even be mild for some people... but I've decided to speak about specific do's of the past in no particular order, that I deem as non-mild, aka WYLDE. Let us begin.





WYLDE DO # 1: KELLY KAPOWSKI

This do is a late 80s early 90s classic, and here's why: Usually at the beginning of a new decade there's this funky little thing that happens... it's called "rollover". It's when the style of the past decade isn't quite gone yet... so it morphs a little and rolls over into the next decade. Kelly's subtle (by 80s standards) do is a classic case of roll over style into the 90s. It's got a little bit of the past, and moving towards the future with that not so huge but still fluffy do. This was also a popular working girl / news anchor look in the early 90s, and it's super cute, just like Kelly.





WYLDE DO # 2: KELLY BUNDY

Speaking of Kelly's, here's one of my faves. The style icon that is known as Kelly Bundy. Kelly had the best style of the 80s, not to mention hair. It's actually not a far cry from Kelly Kapowski's do, but it has a little more spunk and punk. I like Kelly's hair during the early years of Married With Children when it was really bright peroxide blonde. It's 80s rock / punk / metal / skate at its finest, and I kind of wish this do would come back, but instead Whitney Houston did.





WYLDE DO # 3 SPIKE FROM DEGRASSI JR HIGH

Do I even need to say why this is a Wylde Do? In retrospect this do is pretty busted. The idea of anyone walking around with this do seems odd today, but when I was little I thought this was cool. Spike listened to the Pogues who are actually a horrible band, but I guess this was cool and unique by 80s standards, especially for a mainstream teen show. I've watched this show recently and its shocking how horrible the acting on this program was, nonetheless, props for representing 80s wyldness.





WYLDE DO # 4 LIZ FROM DEGRASSI JR HIGH

Every 15 year old alterna-teen needs a best friend to be different with, and for Spike, this friend was Liz. Liz's personality kind of sucked, but her do made up for it. Sure, I'm a 15 year old skinhead with a chelsea cut... and? Queen Do Talk is going to HATE this do but you know what? In a sea of Brooklyn Bangs it would be refreshing to see someone rock this do and pull it off with the full on look. NO ONE rocks this do anymore. Seeing a chelsea do is just about as rare as seeing a real raver, a mod, or someone who is genuinely into ska. Good luck!






WYLDE DO # 5 THE GIRL FROM SWING OUT SISTER

Let me tell you a little secret: Breakout by Swing Out Sister was the first song I ever got into (yes I'm gay, and I was 7). Clearly there is a rhyme and reason for everything but thats beside the point. Lets talk about this lady's do. Are you craving something edgy and intellectual in the 80s? Are you too mature or understated for the teased out hairsprayed helmets of the decade but still want a little something that says "im quirky"? This Louise Brooks do always comes back in and out of style every decade and there's a reason why: its classic. Its sleek and if you are lucky enough to be born with the mug to pull this off, then by all means BREAKOUT the scissors and cut yourself into style with the Swing Out Sister do.





WYLDE DO # 6 STACEY Q

Wow, Stacey Q. Check out that hair! It looks like someone took about five 80s styling trends and mashed it up into one supreme chia pet-esque sculpture de bimbo. You've got a crimp, a reverse confusion curl, a straightener, some extentions, hairspray, mouse, maybe gel, and the classic bang poof out all in one giant 80s tossed salad of dos. Stacey Q sucked but at least she's not as annoying as Lady Gaga, and she looks better in round WYLDE 80s sunglasses too... but thats a whole other post.

Beards

Vavoom and I were discussing tonight about Williamsburg and how every girl tends to look the same and every man has a beard.

I am not going to lie and say that I have no attraction to men in beards, because when thats all thats in my face that isn't a reg, then what am I to do. But sometimes its like, ugh can I get a face that I can see? I can't cover up my double chin or bad skin with a beard, so you shouldn't be allowed to either.

But I get it, you hate shaving in the winter! Yea you know what so do I, but I know you don't want to see my hairy legs as much as I don't want your unruly beard.

Now this next example, is an extreme example. This man is probably not straight (I love my gays!) but seriously, come on with this look.

I got this from absurdintellectual after a google search in case they find I used their photo or wherever they got that from. They were making fun of hipsters. This is really taking it to the extreme as far as a look goes and I wouldn't call this a typical one, but anyway you get the idea.



I guess I just long for the days when everyone was dancing to 60s soul music via 1998 at Sorted in Philadelphia and dressed up in suits and cared about what they looked like. Is that too much to ask?

I'd just like to see this again sometime soon:



Fine its Jim Sturgess, and I don't plan on having this enter my world anytime soon, but can I at least get 75% of this man to be out and about again. Wishful thinking I guess.

At least spring is around the corner, and some of those beards might get shaven off. Here's to hoping.

It's a new year

Everywhere you look there is a new show about makeovers. Some of my personal favorites as of late is Tabitha's Salon Takeover, and thanks to some additions in my channel the Style network has been added to my cable which allows me to watch "How do I look?". Now originally I was going to post about this girl who I just watched the other day on How do I look?, however, it seems like her picture isn't posted. So I will have to come back to that. She had pigtails, was 24 and looked like a child in children's clothes. Yet had a normal looking boyfriend. Why am I surprised?

Anyway she ended up looking good as expected, but we can go into that on another day.

Patti from the millionaire matchmaker, grew out her bangs. I have been long wanting this to happen as I feel like it was very necessary. Here is Patti before:



And here is her after:



Now this is going to be a hard one to convince everyone of because these photos I found are horrible. The coloring on the 2nd one looks like some bad photoshopping to the max.

All the pics I found of Patti online were of her smiling while she does that on the show, its when she isn't that the bangs are really emphasizing her face in the wrong way. She is in her late 40s and looks great for her age, but I think the hair on her was too long and dark to have that severe bang on her face. I did find some photos of her with a side bang, which would have been much better, but overall, the idea to grow out her bangs I think was the best and she trimmed the length of her hair which I think overall makes her look younger than she is. I think it also brightens up her face having those bangs off her face.

So good job Patti in the hair redo.

And just for fun, Vavoom since he has since stopped writing, but still contributes in sending me many hair pics for later use (as you can see I haven't been up on this blogging as much as I should be), but here is something to end off with and beginning 3 months in to 2010. Enjoy!